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In My Kitchen, March 2014

March 8, 2014 by Maureen 73 Comments

Again, not heaps in my kitchen this month but I do have a story.  Have you ever taken a nearly 89 year old woman with dementia shopping?  I didn’t think so.  It’s quite an experience, let me tell you.

John’s mother loves to shop and I mean that with a capital S.  Maureen, on the other hand, would rather slit her wrists than spend an entire day looking at that, touching this, trying that on.

We started with the bras.  As we’re walking along, John’s dad, who we brought along for the credit card, whispers, “Maureen, there’s something on the back of Joan’s dress.”  That instant feeling of dread and ‘what the hell do I do now’ feeling hit the pit of my stomach.  I looked.  He was right.

I whispered to her, “Joan, there’s something on the back of your dress and it umm, looks like poo.”  She looked at me with the biggest eyes and said, “Honestly, I didn’t do anything.”  Turns out she hadn’t done anything but sit on a seat where a bottle of caramelized balsamic vinegar fell out of the grocery bag and leaked on my car seat.

Off we went to the loo and she took off her skirt while I washed the vinegar out and dried it under the hand dryer.  Job done.

Back to the bras.  She selected one that was two sizes too big for her, tried it on inside out and determined that it fit just fine.  Now I hate to fit my own bras but to do it for my mother-in-law that I’ve never seen naked, well, I was beside myself.  I decided that the store paid people to fit bras so there we were in a cubicle the size of a postage stamp – the four of us.  One fitter wasn’t enough, apparently, she brought along an assistant.

Bras in hand and off we went to touch every piece of clothing in the department store.  Finding no joy we headed out into the mall and she started talking to a woman selling blouses in the middle of the mall corridor.  Now dementia can often mean that you can’t find the words for what you’re thinking in your head so when that happens you do charades.  That’s how it is in our family, anyway.  The poor sales lady couldn’t understand that she’d been asked if she had any belts.  I was across the hall and I could tell she wanted a belt from the blouse lady.

I went over and said, “Oh, look at this dress shop, I bet they have some nice things.”  That worked and she followed me over.  I can’t thank the ladies in the Blue Illusion dress shop enough because they took my MIL and dressed her up like a doll, selling her 3 pairs of slacks, 5 tops and one gorgeous wool wrap.  My job was done, at least that’s what I thought.

There was lunch to be eaten and a drive back to the home she lives in and on the way she decided that a nice coffee would be good and could she have some expensive face cleanser, toner and moisturizer too please.  Poor Rob went home broke but happy that his wife had a big smile on her face.

Before we could get to the car after coffee she decided that she needed to go into a skateboard shop and look at shirts.  I told her they were mens’ shirts and she said she could wear that.  “Not unless you wear it as a dress!”  She’s barely 4’10” and must weigh 90 pounds.

I got home exhausted and started looking around for what I had in my kitchen.   First, my dear friend and fellow food blogger, Helene D’Souza from MasalaHerb.com recently sent me this huge package of surprises.  Rob opened the door and accepted the package and when I got home he said, “Maureen, there is a package for you at the front door and it’s from INDIA!!

Rob was born in a part of India which is now Pakistan so you can imagine his curiosity.  I told him that it was from a dear friend and he stood there and waited for me to open it.

I’d mentioned to Helene that I would love to have a curry dish and she sent not one but two sizes along with a gorgeous green table runner, her favorite hand cream and some wonderful spices.  I felt SO spoiled.

Gifts from India

Next is a 3-Seed Bread that I wanted to make for toast.  I love jam on toast.

3-seedbread

In this case I ate it with butter and jam while the bread was still hot!

Three-Seed Bread with Blueberry Jam

I’ve also been nibbling (a lot) on this curried quinoa salad.  I chop everything up and only mix in the dried fruit, peanuts and dressing just before eating.  I can live on this stuff.  I think it’s healthy too.

Curried Quinoa Salad

We’d all like to see what’s ‘In My Kitchen’ at your house this month.  Link your post up with Celia from Fig Jam and Lime Cordial.

 

Filed Under: In My Kitchen Tagged With: in my kitchen

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Comments

  1. Joanne T Ferguson says

    March 8, 2014 at 6:29 pm

    G’day! My heart goes out to you Maureen as I have extensive first hand knowledge of dementia and know what a challenge (understatement) the disease can be!
    Pacing and laughter seem to be the only recipe!
    What a great surprise from Helene…your jam and curried quinoa salad look divine!
    Cheers! Joanne

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 11:10 am

      I know you’ve been through this so you got the funny side of it. I did laugh most of the day. She knows she’s funny too so she cracks up when she can’t remember a word or has to do charades for us to help her find the word. It’s a horrid disease.

      Reply
  2. Kari @ bite-sized thoughts says

    March 8, 2014 at 6:43 pm

    I am so glad you could return from your outing to this package – what a kind gift and you have obviously been putting the contents to good use! It sounds like a successful day and very enjoyable for your MIL, but no doubt very tiring for you.

    Reply
  3. Kari @ bite-sized thoughts says

    March 8, 2014 at 6:48 pm

    I am so glad you could return from your outing to this package – what a kind gift and you have obviously been putting the contents to good use! It sounds like a successful day and very enjoyable for your MIL, but no doubt very tiring for you…

    Reply
  4. ela@GrayApron says

    March 8, 2014 at 7:06 pm

    No, I can’t say I’ve ever taken a 89-old lady with dementia shopping…Funny story though…and it was nice of you. 🙂 ela

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 11:09 am

      Save this story, Ela, just in case it ever happens to you. 🙂

      Reply
  5. Padaek says

    March 8, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    Great post Maureen! Your mother in law sounds so cool! 🙂 I think she loves you so much. Wow – great gifts from your friend in India. I too want a curry dish – they look so beautiful. Bread, jam and curried quinoa salad look delicious! Enjoy your weekend and best wishes! 🙂

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 11:08 am

      My mother-in-law does love me a lot. She knows where she stands because I have no baggage. I didn’t grow up with her as my mother so I just tell her how it is and hope she goes along. 🙂

      Reply
  6. Simone says

    March 8, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    I had to laugh a little bit about your story with your mother in law…. Ages ago I used to work in a home for elderly people with dementia. It can be sad but also incredibly funny at times. Thanks for the look in your kitchen! (Lovely package too!)

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 8, 2014 at 11:42 pm

      They crack me up. One day they’re off with the fairies and the next they’re hiding behind the door naked as a jaybird having sex. 🙂

      Reply
  7. Choc Chip Uru says

    March 8, 2014 at 8:38 pm

    Aww you are the sweetest, and your mother in law sounds lovely, though I am sure you must have been tired after! Good thing you had that delicious bread to go home to 😀
    Yum!

    Cheers
    Choc Chip Uru

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 11:08 am

      My mother-in-law is lovely but she can also be hell on wheels 🙂

      Reply
  8. Gourmet Getaways says

    March 8, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    Oh dear!!!
    I don’t like shopping at the best of times but wowwy, that is one interesting shopping expedition! Well done 🙂
    How nice that you received a beautiful surprise at the end xx

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 11:07 am

      I hate shopping. I don’t mind ‘buying’ if I know what I want before I leave home.

      Reply
  9. sallybr says

    March 8, 2014 at 9:05 pm

    I am away on a trip (Paris, ma cherie!) and cannot keep up with blog reading, but I HAD TO ABSOLUTELY stop here to read your story!

    loved it, of course….

    I know it must be very hard to go through it all, but you do it with style, grace, and a tremendous amount of love! Absolutely wonderful!

    hugs to all of you, from the City of Lights!

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 8, 2014 at 11:40 pm

      You know there are those lucky people you want to dislike because they’re always doing things you want to do? I’m trying not to be that person. 🙂 Have a wonderful time in Paris, my love! I can see you shopping on Rue Cler now. Buy something from the olive shop. 🙂

      Reply
  10. Denise Browning@From Brazil To You says

    March 8, 2014 at 9:34 pm

    What an adventure with you mother-in-law, Maureen! And what a patient woman you are…God bless you! All those dishes look super delicious and the presents that you received from Helene are quite nice. I loved the pan on the right — and of course, the spices!!!!

    Reply
  11. Krista says

    March 8, 2014 at 10:36 pm

    I am shaking with laughter, Maureen!! 🙂 For a little over a year I took care of elderly women, most of whom had dementia. When I accepted the job NO ONE told me that I would have to bathe the old dears. Oh lordy. I thought I might perish. 🙂 But, really, there’s nothing you can do but have a laugh and go for it. 🙂 All that to say, I feel your pain. Truly. And you are an angel for spending all that time shopping with her. Shopping is ghastly to me too (unless it’s for food or at thrift stores cuz that’s just FUN!). 🙂 I’m so glad you were loved on by your dear, thoughtful friend at the end of such a trying day. 🙂 XO

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 8, 2014 at 11:39 pm

      I’m getting used to it and I’ve learned to change the subject when she wants to go home. That makes life much easier.

      Reply
  12. John@Kitchen Riffs says

    March 9, 2014 at 2:24 am

    Wow, what a great haul from Helene! And great salad too — that does look pretty healthy. Amusing, but touching, story about your mother-in-law. I hate shopping too, so I know how little fun that part of the day was for you. But you’ll have good memories of it. Anyway, fun read — thanks.

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 11:07 am

      I’ll never forget looking at that blob of caramelized balsamic vinegar on the back of her dress and thinking it was poo. I can laugh now! 🙂

      Reply
  13. cheri says

    March 9, 2014 at 3:14 am

    Boy, sounds like quite an experience, dementia is such a horrible disease and it sounds like you know exactly how to handle it. What a nice package to receive at the end of the day!

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 11:06 am

      Oh Cheri, I WISH I knew how to handle it. I’m taking a course in dementia starting at the end of the month. I think that will be really helpful.

      Reply
  14. A_Boleyn says

    March 9, 2014 at 4:17 am

    Sounds like an exhausting outing but you had the patience of Job and got through it. Your surprise package from India was well deserved. As well as a stiff drink. 🙂

    The seed bread looks delicious. I’m not doing too much cooking/baking these days though I have great ambitions. Plans are made before I go to bed to bake this and cook that, and then, the next day, they’re tossed out the window. Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 11:05 am

      I do the same thing. I go to bed thinking I’ll get up early and do this first thing and by third thing the day is away and my plans dashed.

      Reply
  15. yummychunklet says

    March 9, 2014 at 4:50 am

    Hot bread with jam sounds amazing. Yum!

    Reply
  16. Melissa @ My Recent Favorite Books says

    March 9, 2014 at 5:09 am

    Sounds like you had a interesting day with your Mother – in -law. =)
    I don’t like shopping, so I can totally understand how you feel.

    Its memories like this, that will make you smile later…
    Have a wonderful day!

    Reply
  17. Claire @ Claire K Creations says

    March 9, 2014 at 5:26 am

    You’re such a wonderful daughter in law Maureen. She must have had the best day! What a lovely gift from india.

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 11:04 am

      She did! As we left she yelled, ‘thank you, thank you, thank you!!’

      Reply
  18. Mary Frances says

    March 9, 2014 at 7:40 am

    Dear Saint Maureen — YOU are amazing!!!!!

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 11:04 am

      LOL I promised her I’d take her. I knew it was going to be funny.

      Reply
  19. Hotly Spiced says

    March 9, 2014 at 8:27 am

    I’m physically worn out from just reading about your shopping experience. Unbelievable. I’m so glad all four of you survived. I too, just hate browsing the shops looking at clothes. Can’t stand it. But I force myself to go because my darling daughter just loves clothes shopping and she also likes to touch everything and try everything on in every shop. As soon as we enter a shop I’m looking for the courtesy chairs. That’s so kind of Helene – what a lovely gift xx

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 11:03 am

      Rob kept the courtesy chairs warm. I did the trotting back and forth and making sure the clothes were on in the right direction 🙂

      Reply
  20. Celia says

    March 9, 2014 at 8:41 am

    Maureen. Oh Maureen. I’d sooner hammer a tent peg into my head that spend a day “just shopping”, and that’s on my OWN. I can’t imagine what it must have been like with a demented 89 year old. God bless you, that’s all I can say. I’m glad you received a pressie in the mail – you deserved it after that – how kind of your friend Helene. Your bread looks gorgeous too!

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 11:03 am

      My bread doesn’t hold a candle to yours but I’ll get there!

      Reply
  21. Lizzy (Good Things) says

    March 9, 2014 at 8:48 am

    Oh Maureen….. can the angels come and sweep you away to an island paradise where you are waited on hand and food for six months! It’s your turn, love… you are a saint! Loved the story, would have laughed if only it weren’t true xox

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 11:02 am

      Oh I laughed!!

      Reply
  22. nancy@jamjnr says

    March 9, 2014 at 11:31 am

    I’m just relieved it wasn’t poo!!! Gosh I was reading your story and hoping I’ll be as patient and kind as you are if I am ever in the same situation. I can’t image the charades my mum would conjure up it would be too funny. Although I’d have to pay someone else to take my MIL shopping for a bra there’s no way I could go there 🙂

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 10:36 pm

      Nancy, you’d do what you had to. I never thought I could do it either. She just laughs at the hilarity of the whole thing. She knows she’s nutty. I saw her again today and she had some coins and couldn’t tell a $2 coin from a fifty cent piece. sad.

      Reply
  23. Roberta says

    March 9, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    Alls well that ends well. You are an angel!

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 10:35 pm

      No, really, I’m not. When you have someone like that in the family, you do the right thing. Anyone would.

      Reply
  24. Bam's Kitchen says

    March 9, 2014 at 1:23 pm

    Hello Maureen, you are a saint for taking her shopping. It means the world to her, of course she won’t remember it, but it is good for her to get out and about. The “poo” incident had me worried for a moment glad to hear it was balsamic vinegar. What a relief! That is one beautiful loaf of bread on your kitchen counter.. Have a super weekend. BAM

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 10:34 pm

      You and me both. Imagine if it HAD been poo. What would I have done with her then? LOL It boggles the mind!

      Reply
  25. Barbara @ Barbara Bakes says

    March 9, 2014 at 3:37 pm

    What sweet friends you have. I’m a shopper myself and hope someday someone humors me and takes me shopping. You’re a sweetie.

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 10:34 pm

      I should get you to take my mother-in-law shopping! She’s great in the bra department.

      Reply
  26. InTolerant Chef says

    March 9, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    What a wonderful and exciting package indeed Maureen! My 92 year old Nanna used to shop lift if we didn’t watch her closely, small stuff like magazine’s or cat food. Thank goodness I didn’t have to see her naked though! 🙂

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 10:32 pm

      LOL I think I’d rather have naked than have to take stuff back. 🙂

      Reply
  27. tania@mykitchenstories.com.au says

    March 9, 2014 at 10:00 pm

    Gosh you are a gem. They must thank their lucky stars that their son had the good sense to marry you Maureen. What an amazing thoughtful thing to do to send you a package like that. Such a beautiful surprise( and you deserve it)

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 9, 2014 at 10:33 pm

      I keep trying to tell them, Tania but they look at me and laugh. 🙂 These are the people who wouldn’t meet me for over a year because I was American. go figure. You know, I’m one of those Americans who chews gum. ALL Americans chew gum they told me. LOL (I don’t chew gum) I said if they ever did meet me, they’d like me. I’m fun.

      Reply
  28. Lea Ann (Cooking On The Ranch) says

    March 10, 2014 at 12:41 am

    You deserve an award for that shopping trip. I’m with you not much of a shopper. I love that photo of the bread with the jam. Made me instantly hungry. And with the bread still warm??? ohmygoodnessgood.

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 10, 2014 at 7:39 am

      I deserve an award just for visiting. I’ve made friends with quite a few of the residents. They can be really sweet and they’re all lonely.

      Reply
  29. mjskit says

    March 10, 2014 at 4:12 am

    Oh how I can relate to your story about your MIL. 🙂 At least she didn’t seem to get belligerent when things didn’t go perfect or the clerk didn’t understand what she wanted. Your MIL sounds as sweet as your FIL. What a nice gift from Maureen and I love that seed bread! Great post Maureen!

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 10, 2014 at 7:38 am

      Oh she can be very difficult. She once told me I was a horrible person and worse for ‘locking her up’ – I’m only the in-law! I kissed her cheek and told her I’d see her again when she was in a better mood and walked out. She hasn’t done it since. 🙂

      Reply
  30. Ramona says

    March 10, 2014 at 6:52 am

    What a lovely gift basket from Helene… she’s a gem. 🙂

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 10, 2014 at 7:36 am

      I couldn’t agree with you more!

      Reply
  31. Krissie - Pearls of Style says

    March 10, 2014 at 9:26 am

    Sounds like shopping was quite the adventure, I’m sure she appreciates all the time with you. I’ve been making a lot of quinoa myself lately, my favourite kind of salad is having it with pumpkin, beetroot and goats cheese.

    Krissie x – http://pearlsofstyle.blogspot.com.au

    Reply
  32. Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella says

    March 10, 2014 at 12:59 pm

    Maureen, what a darling daughter in law you are looking after her like that. And what a great surprise to greet you at the end of the day too! 😀

    Reply
  33. Christina @ The Hungry Australian says

    March 10, 2014 at 10:27 pm

    What a lovely story about your MIL. At times like these it’s best to find the humour in every situation, isn’t it? And what a nice package from India!

    Reply
  34. Judy @Savoring Today says

    March 11, 2014 at 12:01 am

    Aw, so sweet of you to take your MIL shopping–what a day!
    Mmm, fresh bread. I am the worst at waiting for bread to ‘cool completely’ before slicing … it’s just seems cruel, but the butter won’t melt otherwise. 🙂
    What a great surprise gift ~ so sweet of her!

    Reply
  35. The Café Sucre Farine says

    March 11, 2014 at 1:34 am

    Oh my goodness, what a day! Don’t feel too bad though. My sister took my mom to a nice restaurant once when when she was quite elderly. She had an accident and they had to go to the bathroom and clean her up. My mom bemoaned the fact, for a long time, that my sister made her throw away A BRAND NEW GIRDLE!!!
    You deserved that nice surprise package. You are a saint (I think even that priest would now agree if he could peek into your life these days 🙂 )

    Reply
  36. Jordan says

    March 11, 2014 at 3:04 am

    It sounds like you had quite the shopping adventure!

    I’m definitely going to have to try that curried quinoa salad. Seems like something I could make ahead of time and bring to work for lunch.

    Reply
  37. Ashley @ Wishes and Dishes says

    March 11, 2014 at 7:29 am

    Wow – what a shopping trip huh??!! Oh and that quinoa salad sounds sooo good.

    Reply
  38. Barb Bamber says

    March 11, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    Well, I’m approaching that stage in life where I will be looking after my parents. I’m lucky they’re in good health so far. Bless you for your patience with your MIL, you’re really special to do that, Maureen. I know many wouldn’t take the time. I love that loaf of bread and warm with butter and jam is just how I’d have it too!xx

    Reply
  39. ChgoJohn says

    March 12, 2014 at 2:25 am

    How good of you to look after you MIL, Maureen. I cared for Mom during her illness and, much like the ladies of Blue Illusion, it was the kindness of strangers that often made all the difference in the World. Bless them — and you. 🙂

    Reply
  40. Mireya @myhealthyeatinghabits says

    March 12, 2014 at 7:30 am

    You created such good karma with your generosity of time and patience spent with your mother-in-law and it appears the Universe rewarded you for it. Just a thought.

    Reply
  41. betsyb says

    March 14, 2014 at 1:17 am

    You’re a very good and patient daughter-in-law. Dementia and Alzheimer’s are the worst, and I can’t decide who it’s harder on…the person who has it or the loved ones who deal with them and watch it happen. At any rate, I’m sure your MIL was appreciative. I wish I had some of that bread in my kitchen right now!

    Reply
  42. Pat says

    March 14, 2014 at 5:23 pm

    Maureen, I liked your story and that was my life for 16 years as a provider/owner of a small, 4-lady Adult Family Home. All different stages of dementia. Some days I felt I was one of the ladies. But, I have a lot of wonderful memories stored up also! They all liked my cooking!

    Reply
  43. minnie@thelady8home says

    March 23, 2014 at 12:39 am

    Awwwww Maureen, this is one of the loveliest post I have read. I feel for you Ma in law, she must have been quite a formidable lady in her time, so sad to think she can’t control what seems to have been a really fine mind once.

    Isn’t Helene the sweetest!!

    Reply
    • Maureen says

      March 23, 2014 at 8:52 am

      It would be really tough for a former English teacher to struggle to find the words to the point where she has to play charades to tell her story. It’s incredibly sad but we don’t dwell on that because frankly, it is what it is and we do the best to make her life easy.

      Reply
  44. The Wimpy Vegetarian says

    March 29, 2014 at 7:28 am

    I really enjoyed reading this, Maureen. My mom had Alzheimer’s and I completely related to the story. It’s all a part of life – and really how nice to spend a day with her. I’d rather slit my wrists than spend a day shopping too, so I get that too. Well, unless I’m at a Farmer’s Market. That’s a completely different kind of shopping for me.

    Reply
  45. The Wimpy Vegetarian says

    March 29, 2014 at 7:38 am

    Oh and how wonderful to come home to such a nurturing and nourishing gift from Helene. Love how karma works 🙂

    Reply
  46. PRASHANTH RAJ says

    March 29, 2014 at 5:54 pm

    one of the awesome posts i have ever read till date honestly and i have enjoyed reading this article.i will definitely try that quinoa salad 🙂

    Reply
  47. Amy @ Elephant Eats says

    April 3, 2014 at 6:30 am

    Hahaha, I’m with you on shopping…I hate it! What a good deed you did to take your mother-in-law shopping. It sounds like you made her very happy 🙂

    Reply

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