Orgasmic Chef

In My Kitchen, March 2014

Again, not heaps in my kitchen this month but I do have a story.  Have you ever taken a nearly 89 year old woman with dementia shopping?  I didn’t think so.  It’s quite an experience, let me tell you.

John’s mother loves to shop and I mean that with a capital S.  Maureen, on the other hand, would rather slit her wrists than spend an entire day looking at that, touching this, trying that on.

We started with the bras.  As we’re walking along, John’s dad, who we brought along for the credit card, whispers, “Maureen, there’s something on the back of Joan’s dress.”  That instant feeling of dread and ‘what the hell do I do now’ feeling hit the pit of my stomach.  I looked.  He was right.

I whispered to her, “Joan, there’s something on the back of your dress and it umm, looks like poo.”  She looked at me with the biggest eyes and said, “Honestly, I didn’t do anything.”  Turns out she hadn’t done anything but sit on a seat where a bottle of caramelized balsamic vinegar fell out of the grocery bag and leaked on my car seat.

Off we went to the loo and she took off her skirt while I washed the vinegar out and dried it under the hand dryer.  Job done.

Back to the bras.  She selected one that was two sizes too big for her, tried it on inside out and determined that it fit just fine.  Now I hate to fit my own bras but to do it for my mother-in-law that I’ve never seen naked, well, I was beside myself.  I decided that the store paid people to fit bras so there we were in a cubicle the size of a postage stamp – the four of us.  One fitter wasn’t enough, apparently, she brought along an assistant.

Bras in hand and off we went to touch every piece of clothing in the department store.  Finding no joy we headed out into the mall and she started talking to a woman selling blouses in the middle of the mall corridor.  Now dementia can often mean that you can’t find the words for what you’re thinking in your head so when that happens you do charades.  That’s how it is in our family, anyway.  The poor sales lady couldn’t understand that she’d been asked if she had any belts.  I was across the hall and I could tell she wanted a belt from the blouse lady.

I went over and said, “Oh, look at this dress shop, I bet they have some nice things.”  That worked and she followed me over.  I can’t thank the ladies in the Blue Illusion dress shop enough because they took my MIL and dressed her up like a doll, selling her 3 pairs of slacks, 5 tops and one gorgeous wool wrap.  My job was done, at least that’s what I thought.

There was lunch to be eaten and a drive back to the home she lives in and on the way she decided that a nice coffee would be good and could she have some expensive face cleanser, toner and moisturizer too please.  Poor Rob went home broke but happy that his wife had a big smile on her face.

Before we could get to the car after coffee she decided that she needed to go into a skateboard shop and look at shirts.  I told her they were mens’ shirts and she said she could wear that.  “Not unless you wear it as a dress!”  She’s barely 4’10” and must weigh 90 pounds.

I got home exhausted and started looking around for what I had in my kitchen.   First, my dear friend and fellow food blogger, Helene D’Souza from MasalaHerb.com recently sent me this huge package of surprises.  Rob opened the door and accepted the package and when I got home he said, “Maureen, there is a package for you at the front door and it’s from INDIA!!

Rob was born in a part of India which is now Pakistan so you can imagine his curiosity.  I told him that it was from a dear friend and he stood there and waited for me to open it.

I’d mentioned to Helene that I would love to have a curry dish and she sent not one but two sizes along with a gorgeous green table runner, her favorite hand cream and some wonderful spices.  I felt SO spoiled.

Next is a 3-Seed Bread that I wanted to make for toast.  I love jam on toast.

In this case I ate it with butter and jam while the bread was still hot!

I’ve also been nibbling (a lot) on this curried quinoa salad.  I chop everything up and only mix in the dried fruit, peanuts and dressing just before eating.  I can live on this stuff.  I think it’s healthy too.

We’d all like to see what’s ‘In My Kitchen’ at your house this month.  Link your post up with Celia from Fig Jam and Lime Cordial.

 

Exit mobile version