I can honestly say that I’ve rarely met a blueberry muffin I couldn’t be best friends with. I’m not fond of dry cakey muffins but add a few blueberries and I’ll eat one. A muffin makes my cup of coffee 100 times better.
This particular recipe has a funny (sick humor) story for me. Those of you who thought I was a nice person, be prepared. When I was about 17 I got up early and made muffins very much like these. My sister was home from college and I thought it would be great to show her how clever I was. I was younger, she was already at college, had spent a summer in Europe and I was eager for her to think I was good at something.
The difference in those muffins and these? In Maine we had heaps of frozen wild blueberries – those tiny sweet blue pearls.
When we were growing up, my mother never got up early. She worked really hard cooking a big lunch and an even bigger dinner and doing all the other things that mothers do so she left the job of getting the three of us up in the morning to my father. He loved it, she slept and it was all good.
My mother woke up when she smelled the muffins and came down to the kitchen in her nightgown. The three of us sat down at the table for coffee and a muffin.
Instead of asking for one of us to pass the milk creamer to her, she reached across the table and when she did she dunked a breast into her boiling hot cup of coffee. I know, it sounds awful and it was. She should have gone to a doctor but instead suffered for days and got on by stuffing a silk scarf into her bra.
You’re feeling really bad, right? That’s how my sister and I should have felt but we didn’t. We were horrid and we laughed. We didn’t just go ha-ha, we roared. We couldn’t imagine not knowing where her nipple ended and the coffee began.
The angrier my mother got, the funnier the two of us thought it was. Then my 16 year old brother came in and he thought it was funny. It wasn’t!
Poor Mom was really uncomfortable. When my father came home for lunch all he could say was, “Don’t you know where those things are at all times?”
Okay, that was enough to start us in again. For this, I unreservedly apologize to my mother if she’s reading this from the afterlife.
Have you ever thought something was really funny even if it was as inappropriate as this? What triggers the memory?
To this day I can’t eat a blueberry muffin without thinking about this or write about it without laughing. I know it probably means I’m going to hell in a handbasket for it. I’m sorry.
Okay, I WANT to be sorry.
- ⅓ cup vegetable oil
- 1 egg
- ⅓ cup milk
- 1 cup fresh blueberries
- 1½ cups all-purpose / plain flour
- ¾ cup sugar
- ½ teaspoon salt
- 2 teaspoons baking powder
- ½ cup white sugar
- ⅓ cup all-purpose flour
- ¼ cup butter, cut into small pieces (I grated very cold butter
- Zest from two lemons
- Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C) and grease muffin tin or use paper liners.
- Combine 1½ cups flour, ¾ cup sugar, salt and baking powder in a bowl and whisk to mix.
- In a 1-cup measuring cup, add vegetable oil, the egg and enough milk to fill the cup. Lightly mix to break the egg.
- Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and mix til nearly all the flour is combined. Add blueberries and fold them into the batter.
- Fill muffin cups right to the top, and sprinkle with crumb topping mixture.
- In a medium sized bowl, mix together ½ cup sugar, ⅓ cup flour, ¼ cup butter, and the lemon zest.
- Mix with fork, and sprinkle generously over muffins before baking.
- Bake for 20 to 25 minutes in the preheated oven, or until done.
I’ve got a few of those…. most are a bit too convoluted to explain in a comment, but let’s say one that makes me laugh even today, 20 years later, happened in a lab in France. This scientist was a lovely person, but… how can I put it? Very VERY clumsy… And that is stating it quite mildly… Anyway, in those days people could smoke in the lab, and he had a cigarette hanging from one side of the mouth, and was trying to look at a particular image of DNA on a light box over his desk. He wanted his face as close as possible to the light box, and he was sitting on a rolling chair. I had just entered the room to work on a piece of equipment near his bench – all of a sudden, the chair rolled back, he went face down into the light box, the cigarette flicked up in the air and he let a few expletives in French fly by… I had to leave the lab, and go laugh to the point of tears in the bathroom… the whole scene was absolutely hilarious, and here I am laughing all over again…
I must make these muffins in honor of that colleague. I think he is retired by now… Fun times…
LOL that’s funnier than my mother’s story!
I adore these muffins, that topping looks heavenly and I love the ample amount of lemon zest! As for your story – I just had a good laugh over it myself :).
Yay! I’m not alone.
You make me laugh Maureen. I do feel sorry for your mom but the way you tell it has me laughing too.
I love those little tiny Maine blueberries. They also grow in northern Wisconsin and we used to pick them there. They were like gold to me, so different than the big ones you buy at the market. You’re muffins look wonderful, I hope your sister liked them! I guess your mom never got a chance to try them ………..
Chris, we were laughing so hard I don’t think either of us ate one for breakfast. 🙂
Great muffins, better story! That was really funny, although I’m sure it was just awfully painful. Your father’s comment was priceless!
These muffins look great…I love blueberries, too! Love the story as well. That’s what is so great about families…close families can laugh at just about anything, but your poor mom!
Aww that was a giggle of a story! Did she laugh about it later? That’s the kind of thing that maybe one could reflect upon with laughter! 😀
She never saw the joke of it. Sad. My mother was never a life of the party sort of person. Always reserved and hardworking, she left the party animal work to my father.
Oh Maureen – your poor mom!
Yes, in retrospect this is funny – specially your dad’s comment that set yall off again! Oh good gosh!
Last Friday, someone told me about their daughter who walked into a wall – ended up breaking her nose and took 3 months to fully heal – the best part of the story is she could not stop herself from laughing the whole time she was telling me about this!
These muffins look so good! I bet the smell of these muffins would distract me from where my coffee is too! 🙂
Yikes! That sounds painful for her but hilarious nonetheless. Sometimes you can’t help but laugh…kind of like when guys get hit really hard in the crotch.
Also, I recently discovered frozen wild blueberries from Maine and they were AMAZING! I’ll have to buy some more and then make these muffins.
I’ve heard about people dunking a crumpet into their coffee, but not a breast! This story reminds me of the time when my parents drove me 3 hours up to L.A. to interview for a college I was applying to. After the interview, a student of the school took us on a walking tour of the school. We descended down some stairs and my mother fell head first down the stairs- SPLAT, face down on the ground. She gashed her knee and tore her stockings. Needless to say, I had to suppress my laughter in the back seat of the car, all the way home. In fact, 40 some-odd years later, I still burst out laughing thinking about it (I’m ashamed to say)! With your story, I’ll never be able to look at a Blueberry Muffin again without snickering…
You understand!! LOL at your story.
What a story, Maureen. Guess that could be called making a right boob of something. Love how these plump muffins can conjure up a priceless memory like this one. Your poor Mum – that must have really hurt – and with your Dad’s fun comment, too. BTW love the topping on these treats!
Reminds me of a candlelit dinner over a veggie dinner in a restaurant and Monsieur Pompous setting his hair alight. Er, no more details unless I speak to a lawyer.
OMG to have photos of that one, Jill!!!
Great story, I bet it was really painful!! Your father’s comment was classic. I love the look of these, so crunchy on the top, very tempting. GG
Your poor Mum!! I am sure she was able to laugh about it later. 🙂 Sometimes the giggles get the best of us… I like your father’s comment when he found out. 🙂 Love the muffins. You’re right… blueberries make any muffin yummy.
I too thought your father’s comment was hilarious.
Sitting down to breakfast as soon as I finish posting this and 2, no 3, of your muffins would be great with my hot cup of coffee. Love Maine wild blueberries, those little blue pearls do pack in a ton of flavors.
Call me horrid, I would have been right there with your belly laughing away. And knowing me and my cousins, it would have been one of those moments where you can’t stop laughing. No matter how hard you try. Great story. And Great looking muffins.
You’ve got it! We weren’t laughing at her but at what she did and how dumb it was. Then, because one of us laughed, the other started and then my brother joined in and when my father asked her if she didn’t know where her boobs ended.. well, that started it all over again.
I believe you, the muffins look delicious. I like that you added lemon zest to the topping…why haven’t I thought about that before?! Thanks, Maureen 🙂 ela
I am with you! Why would anyone ever eat any kind of muffin besides blueberry?!?! They really are the best and these look particularly delicious. Thanks for the recipe! I’ll be giving it a whirl.
Your story sounds quite funny from the outside looking in but I’m sure she was in pain, embarrassed and having the 3 of you laugh wasn’t appreciated. Your poor mom.
Yummy looking muffins there. I wish I had some to nibble on with my coffee.
I know.. we all felt really bad for her. It’s the same as folks laugh at slapstick or funniest home videos. – now wouldn’t THAT have won the prize!
Funny story……..OK, except for you mom.
Love these. The topping alone makes me have, “the Vapors.”
OMG not the vapors!! You’re dating yourself. 🙂
Oh my, that is terrible but I can’t blame you for thinking it’s funny. Your Dad’s comment is a riot too, where those things are? Really?
I love the look of these muffins, Maureen, these seem so moist and delicious!
Ouch! Nipples sure are tender parts of the body and dipping one into hot liquid would be an unpleasant experience… but I can imagine how funny this way… and your story is even funnier the way you tell it. I love a good muffin too (they are shaped somewhat like a breast, aren’t they) and blueberry muffins are a favourite. Great post! xo
It’s been a long time since I was 17. It’s still funny to remember how much we laughed.
Nothing beats a good family story and certainly nothing beats a good blueberry muffin, don’t think I have met one yet I wasn’t friends with either!
Ouch!!! I guess when you are not on the receiving end, it is funny!! These muffins look like bakery muffins! The topping is what makes them look so good. I’ve got to try these out!
Oh dear!! Your poor Mom!! But then I have been a part of a few and receiving end of some as well. Last year, I slipped in the snow when it had drowned the East coast, and the three men in my life thought it was the funniest thing they had ever seen. grrrr!! I think I will have one blueberry muffin to feel better, lol!
LOL…and little did she know you’d make her “incident” public years later 😉 I’m afraid I would have laughed, too…poor thing!
PS…your blueberry muffins look terrific!
She’s been dead for a few years so I don’t think she’ll mind. 🙂 Maybe she’ll haunt me? Ack!
Ouch! Talk about making a complete tit of yourself 🙂 Gorgeous blueberry muffins – can’t beat that smell on a weekend morning.
Now that’s a HOT cup of coffee!!! Poor mom. 🙁 But yes, I have laughed quite inappropriately at something, not so funny, before. I think it’s timing, mood and circumstance. Now for the muffins, I would definitely jump out of bed if I smelled these cooking!
OMG! That was way too funny and a perfect way to end my evening. We moms need to learn to laugh at ourselves more. Moral of the story – Put a bra on before drinking coffee! And keep the muffins close!
Your poor mom! But, hey, you were a normal kid! Mine pokes fun at me all the time 🙂 Although, I never burn’t a boob (thank goodness)! Your freshly baked muffins look fantastic. Pinned them 🙂
Oh, your poor mother – but I am laughing too! And your father’s line “Don’t you know where those things are at all times?” is just wonderful. No wonder you roared!
Hopefully the muffins were enough to smooth some of your Mum’s ruffled feathers 😛
Nostalgic dunking breast story aside … these muffins look like they have a lovely crumb. Well photographed & thanks for sharing your lovely recipe.
Oh my goodness – what a story, Maureen. It sounds like how my brother and i would have reacted in a similar situation! These muffins look terrific — I’ve always been a blueberry muffin fan.
Maureen I love blueberry muffins but haven’t made them in ages. I never see those tiny little berries here where I live but I’m sure they would be perfect for these muffins. Instead I’ll have to use the larger plump ones. This is a great recipe. I think I’ll make these this weekend, I know my family will be thrilled – at least until they eat more than their share.
Ok, the inappropriate part aside, I think I would have laughed too. Come to think of it, I’ve had many occasions similar to such when I ended up laughing when I actually shouldn’t have (that’s mean of me, I know).
Blueberry muffins are my favorite ones, but I stopped buying them recently, cuz they all seem too sugary, will have to try to bake yours! 🙂
I see your recipes all are awesome. I will prepare this recipe for my children. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks a lot. I visited your site and it’s well designed. Have you ever considered taking your own photos?
Dear Maureen, In high school one of my English teachers once said, “one never knows what might tickle the senses” and there you have it. lol
I love blueberry muffins too and not the dry crumbly ones either. These do look like the best blueberry muffins ever.
Stay well dear friend. Blessings, Catherine xo
I would have laughed too – and I can say this with a knowing look on my face. The same thing happened to me except with a pot of boiling water. I reached over the boiling pasta to stir the sauce and since I’m actually very short in height, but not lacking in that other area, it was an easy accident. Anyway TMI for you I’m sure. I did go to see a doctor and if it makes your mom feel any better (in the here after) the staff had a very big laugh about my second degree burn. I survived! A muffin would make me feel better now that I had to relive that experience – haha!
A few years ago I was pouring boiling water into a glass pitcher to make tea and it exploded and went all over me. I know how much it can hurt. I’m also very short and I was at the front of the line waving me me me when boobage was being issued too. Life’s not easy. 🙂
I’m sure the pain was worth these wonderful muffins.
Great story Maureen. My kind of muffins. Can’t wait try your recipe.
I havent been going around the blogosphere in awhile but today I thought of spending a few minutes to go around the blogs that i love just to say hello… and HAPPY NEW YEAR!
May 2014 bring you more reasons to be in the kitchen… stories and recipes to share here i your blog.
I hope to see you around!
Malou
I havent been going around the blogosphere in awhile but today I thought of spending a few minutes to go around the blogs that i love just to say hello… and HAPPY NEW YEAR!
May 2014 bring you more reasons to be in the kitchen… stories and recipes to share here i your blog.
I hope to see you around!
Malou
Your poor mom! What a way to start the day! Those must be fantastic Blueberry Muffins to lose sight, of well, other things just to get to the muffins! You know what we’ll be thinking of when we try your recipe!
I love, love a good blueberry muffin. I smiled reading your post. I would have thought it funny too…The best part is the food creates a fond memory a d good chuckle. How can you ask for more. Thanks for sharing this story and the great blueberry muffin recipe with us.
Velva
Those look delicious Maureen! I love blueberry muffins too. 😀
Like you, there is no blueberry muffin I have met that I couldn’t devour! I am sure your recipe makes fine muffins and I can’t wait to try them.
maureen! They look like the best ever! that crunchy sweet topping and moist center is screaming at me! I love it
You had me giggling Maureen.. I’ve laughed one to many times when I shouldn’t. Your muffins look gorgeous!
“Don’t you know where those things are at all times?”- OMG I am dying laughing. I can’t help it. I can’t stop laughing. I shall try but it’s hard.
Okay enough giggling, these muffins are amazing. I love blueberries. I was never a breakfast eater growing up. After my mom passes my dad was determined to get me to eat breakfast every day. So he would find the best blueberry muffins he could at bakeries to try to change my ways. It’s about the only thing I still eat most mornings.
That recipe is similar to mine including the streussel topping, that definitely tastes awesome.
Really? I promise I didn’t pinch your recipe. 🙂 Have you blogged it? I’d be happy to add a link to it at the bottom of the post.
Such a fun post Maureen…you sure made me laugh.
These muffins sure look awesome, I especially like the topping, with the sugar and the lemon zest, it is sure a nice kick…
Thanks for sharing this recipe and hope you are having a wonderful week 😀
Your poor mom. I’ll probably think of this story now everytime a eat a blueberry muffin.
Hysterical. I’m still laughing. So I’m going to hell in a handbasket too, I guess. Pinning these muffins. When I lived in western Massachusetts, the secretary for our group brought in homemade blueberry muffins every Monday in summer. She went ‘blueberrying’ many weekends and they were the best muffins I think I’ve ever had.
I’ve got some of those tiny berries in the freezer and your recipe sounds great. I don’t know if I can eat one and not giggle though. 🙂
I love blueberry muffins that have the sugary crust on top!!! Totally my favorite kind. I’m definitely going to be baking some of these up soon 🙂 Hahaha, that story is hysterical! Your poor mother…but I can’t blame you for laughing 😉
This is such a cute story and the muffins are a must make. They look so tasty!!
Oh how I love your sense of humor. 🙂
Oh wow this is amazing, many thanks for the share! I will definitely give this a try!
Thanks!
These are D E Licious!!!! I have made them 4 times in the past 2 days!!! Thank you! 🙂
They ARE delicious! Thanks so much for coming by, Josette!
These ARE the best blueberry muffins!!
I added a pinch of nutmeg and cinnamon to the crumb topping! My husband said “the best he’s ever had!” Muffins, that is.
Love the nutmeg and cinnamon idea!
Blueberry Muffins are a childhood favourite. I look forward to making this one.