Orgasmic Chef

You CAN Grow Corn in a Small Patch

All these garden posts people are doing and I always felt that I couldn’t really join in because frankly I have very little dirt.  (other than what you’d find at the bottom of someone’s shower)  We have paved pathways, landscaped garden beds and lots and lots of patio and deck.

One day John was talking with his father and he said, “I really miss the corn we used to grow at our old place in Wodonga.”  Well, in two or three days Rob dug out a passion fruit vine that I didn’t like, got the gardener guy to dig  up the roots and he planted corn.

I chuckled to myself.  It’s up against the fence and between two really big shrubs and not much room between the fence, the walkway and the house.  Honestly, I figured it was something to keep the old guy busy.

Then one day I walked around the corner of the house and there were corn stalks.  I laughed and thought to myself that they wouldn’t be there long.

The other day my next door neighbour Chris yelled over the fence and said, “Maureen!!!  Is that corn growing over the fence?”  I told him, “Yeah, but I doubt it’s doing anything.”

Well, sir, it was.  I went back through the house and just for shits and giggles I went around to look at the corn.  I yelled, “Rob!!  The corn is ripe!”

He came out and said no, it wasn’t ready yet, the kernels needed to be much fatter.  Now I hate overripe corn and I wasn’t going to listen.  I picked 3 ears and told him it was going to be the best corn he’d ever eaten and he would bow down before me.

And it was.  He told me if he could get down he would bow but since he’s 93 (going on 94) he hoped I would take his admission as a bow.  I did.

I wasn’t going to take a photo of the corn growing because, well, it looks goofy.  It’s beautiful and healthy but in front of the corn he’s planted some beans.  John wanted beans too.

To keep the dog off his beans he fashioned the ugliest ‘fence’ made of pieces of irrigation pipe (that he dug up) and tomato stakes.  I was appalled but it’s his garden and I’m leaving him alone.  I pressure washed the walkway while he was in Melbourne but now you need gumboots to walk around out there.

If you thought you couldn’t grow corn because you only had a very (very) small garden patch or your patch didn’t get a lot of direct sun, give it a try.  My garden is 4′ x 6′ and we’ve had corn every day this week.  We only pick the 3 ripest cobs and eating them is pure heaven.

I cook fresh corn by boiling water in a kettle and tossing the cobs in and turning off the heat.  In 10 minutes the corn is ready and it’s always perfectly cooked.  You can cook corn this way in a cooler (or Esky) by putting the cobs in and pouring boiling water over them and shutting the lid.

I’ve tried the microwave method and I wasn’t happy and boiling is fine but my method is a no-brainer and the kernels are always tender.  Give it a try, I swear by it.

That’s all the news that’s fit to print from the Sunshine Coast of Australia today.  I hope your weekend is going brilliantly.  Charlie says hello.  He’s waiting for watering time because it’s a lot of fun to play in the mud. (not for me)

Exit mobile version