Today is my mother-in-law’s 90th birthday. Physically, she’s fit as a fiddle as you can see in these photos. Mentally, there’s not much left in her spongy brain. Dementia is the worst illness anyone can have I think. It robs you of who you are and takes away most of your memories.
Joan can remember things but she tends to mix and match so that she might remember something but she’ll put it in a different place with different people and she gets annoyed when we don’t remember things the same way she does. We’ve sorted that by agreeing and nodding to everything she says. Validation is important, questioning is never good.
She was all dressed up for her birthday today and was as pleased as she could be to spend time with us. She even gave Rob a big kiss!
I made her favorite cake but it’s only been her favorite since moving into the nursing home where they often have hummingbird cake in the cafe where we take her for coffee. There’s not much in the way of poundage for this little woman but she can polish off a whole piece of cake and nibble some off your plate too.
John helped his mother read her cards and then we sat down and ate cake. I was so busy icing the cake this morning and then wrapping her presents that I walked out of the house without my camera so I used Rob’s point and shoot. When I put it down, he moved it and that was the last I thought of it so we don’t have photos of the inny bits of the cake, sorry.
Trust me when I say, you need to make this cake. I used a Woman’s Weekly recipe and made my favorite cream cheese icing instead of theirs and put in a 1/4 teaspoon of cinnamon. It makes it SO good.
- 450grams can crushed pineapple in syrup
- 150grams (1 cup) plain flour
- 75grama (½ cup) self-raising flour
- ½ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
- ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
- ½ teaspoon ground ginger
- 200grams (1 cup firmly packed) brown sugar
- 45grams (½ cup) desiccated coconut
- 460grams (approximately 2 large) overripe bananas, mashed
- 2 eggs, beaten lightly
- 180ml (¾ cup) vegetable oil
- 250 grams (8 oz) cream cheese, room temperature
- 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
- ½ tablespoon vanilla
- 2 cups confectioners' sugar (sifted)
- ¼ teaspoon cinnamon
- 1 cup walnuts, chopped
- ½ cup shredded coconut, lightly toasted
- Grease and line two 9-inch cake tins with baking paper
- Drain pineapple over medium bowl, pressing with spoon to extract as much syrup as possible Reserve ¼ cup (60ml) syrup.
- Sift flours, soda, spices and sugar into large bowl.
- Using wooden spoon, stir in reserved syrup, coconut, banana, egg and oil, then pour into prepared baking pans.
- Bake layers for 40 minutes until golden brown and bounces back when you touch.
- Cool for 5 minutes then turn onto wire rack with cake top-side up to cool.
- Using an electric mixer on medium speed, beat cream cheese, butter and vanilla until light and fluffy.
- Reduce speed and gradually add icing/ confectioners' sugar and cinnamon.
- Spread frosting between cake layers and on the top and side.
- Sprinkle side with walnuts and the top with toasted coconut.
You must be on the same wavelength as Louise at Months of Edible Celebrations and some of the other bloggers making banana flavored desserts today! You sound like a very dedicated daughter-in-law, a wonderful and patient one.
I’ve never had a Hummingbird Cake. I’m going to have to do something about that! Your cake looks full flavoured and amazing!
Happy Birthday Joan!
Hummingbird Cake is a sentimental favourite of ours. When my husband and I first staring going out together, we would always order one slice to share from our favourite restaurant. We thought we were being fancy LOL! Your cake looks delicious. I’m going to make it, take a big slice and share it with my husband. Thanks for the reminder… and happy birthday to your MIL
Aww happy birthday Joan. She can still rock a hot pink suit! And your hummingbird cake looks lovely – cream cheese icing is my favourite!
This sounds so delicious, Maureen, and what a lovely post showing your mother-in-law positively beaming and enjoying herself despite her sad and frustrating condition.
I am having an orgasmic craving for a piece of this cake. It’s so beautiful! Happy Birthday to your beautiful Ma in law….she stands so straight, remarkable. I can imagine the pain you go through knowing it’s her brain that’s taken the hit.
Oh my 90! yes she look really well but I know thyat you say (my dad has problems too)
Happy Birthday to her!
I love the cake look stunning !
and Maureen, all the pictures are really beautiful!!
xo
Maureen, what a lovely post! How special that you can make this gorgeous cake for your mother in law. I’ll bet she was touched even if she won’t remember all the details of the day. Love the hummingbird cake.
Oh, I do love Hummingbird Cake – Happy Birthday to Joan too – looks like you had a lovely time.
Everything about this is just lovely. You gave me a much needed break in my day and smiles to get me through the afternoon! I look forward to surfacing out of this moving mess to a kitchen where I will give this cake a go!
Happy Birthday to beautiful Joan!
Maureen, so sad to have family members suffering with dementia…. I cannot say that my Mom has full blown dementia, but she is slowly going downhill and it is – as you know – tremendously painful to witness from close or from far away. Not even sure which situation is worse being there to follow it or having the shock of the decay after 16 months apart.
Glad that you could bake her such a gorgeous cake! she seems happy, relaxed, and I am sure you all had a nice time together….. extra sweetness never hurts, right?
I know of the heart breaking feeling with anyone who has memory loss and/or Alzheimer’s. My older brother is there. Very hard. I try to visit twice a month.
U wish I had your Hummingbird cake to take with me for my next visit.
I know how hard it is, Roberta. I visit Joan 2-3 times a week and some days I have to drag myself in there. I’m ashamed to admit that but it can be so difficult when she’s angry and says really hurtful things.
Gorgeous as always, both of you & the cake!
One of my faves too :)) xx
Maureen my paternal grandmother had dementia…it’s so sad. But it also makes us cherish the wonderful things and people in life a bit more doesn’t it. I love your heartfelt posts…
Happy Birthday, Joan. You look pretty amazing for a 90 or even 80 yr old.
The cake is gorgeous. Even though I’m not a big banana fan, I’m sure the cake would taste delicious.
This is the one cake I always have wanted to make but never did. Grabbed your recipe and put it on my do now, list! Thanks for sharing, it looks wonderful and I am sure tastes as good as it looks.
What a great post Maureen! Love the cake you made for your mother-in-law , so nice of you! Never tried Hummingbird cake, but would love to try it 🙂
90? Oh my. She DOES look as fit as a fiddle! You are the best daughter in law anyone could ask for. Presents, cards….and this cake? That’s a birthday treat right there!
Nod away and party on! 🙂
This looks terrific — coconut always floats my boat. Add pineapple, and it reminds me of a tropical drink. 🙂 Fun recipe, really nice post. Happy Birthday to Joan!
Happy birthday to your mother in law Maureen !
Demencia is a very sad illness but she looks happy and maybe she is. She is a Lucky woman to have you. It’s the same thing I think when I saw my husband’s grandma.
This cake looks gorgeous ! Love all these ingrédients : pinneapple, coco, banane…sounds great !
I’ve never heard of a Hummingbrid cake, Maureen. Sounds delicious.
Happy Birthday to Joan!
So glad to hear she got to enjoy your hummingbird cake! I’m going to have to try the recipe myself. It looks delicious!
Loved seeing the photos of Joan and Rob… dementia is such a cruel end to one’s life… but you and John are taking such good care of Joan. Hummingbird cake is one of my favourites!
I hope I look as good as that at 90! And what a delicious cake to celebrate with too Maureen – you have baked this to perfection.
This is one of my favourite cakes ever Maureen! I am not surprised that it is Joan’s favourite. I love the coconut on top and the nuts on the side too! Aren’t you sweet to bake her her favourite cake!! 😀
Oh I’m not sure if my comment went missing or not so excuse me if I am posting twice. I love hummingbird cake-and great idea decorating it with coconut on the top and nuts on the side. Joan is a lucky lady to have a DIL like you to bake her favourite cake 😀
So scrumptious! I haven’t had Hummingbird Cake in years. 🙂 I love the idea of cinnamon in the icing. That really would be marvelous.
G’day! I have never made a Hummingbird Cake either, but yours looks delicious Maureen! Happy Birthday Joan and know first hand how cruel a disease Alzheimer’s and Dementia is…hugs!
Cheers! Joanne
Happy Birthday to Joan – she looks so well and totally rocks pink. You know, I’ve never eaten Hummingbird Cake but I think I’d love it.
Maureen we must have been making cakes on the same day and they look almost identical. And we posted at the same time too! Your MIL looks very good for 90 but what a shame her mind hasn’t lasted as well as the rest of her. Yes, Dementia is so tragic. I love hummingbird cake and must remember to add some cinnamon to the cream cheese frosting xx
Happy birthday to Joan! She is so cute! This cake looks awesome, I have yet to taste a hummingbird cake. The recipe sounds like it is delicious.
I have seen Alzheimer’s from close quarters and know how heart breaking any kind of dementia is. On very rare occasions I was able to catch a glimpse of the person she used to be ( my aunt) but mostly it was a stranger staring back.
Joan looks elegant and happy on her special day. I suppose a beautiful cake like that would make anyone happy. I have been wanting to make the hummingbird cake for sometime – Thanks for the recipe.
It’s incredible how good your MIL looks, I’m so glad she was able to spend her birthday with you. We’re hoping to spring my FIL for Easter dinner.
I’d never heard of this cake before I started blogging, it does sound lovely and looks delightful even without the inny bits!
Aw you have done it again. What a lovely person you are. She looks gorgeous in that pink outfit. She can wear it again next year because she wont remember. I made Hummingbird cake this week. Funny. ( pS I sprinkled cinamon over the top so that when they opened the box it smelt nice
She is pretty in pink, and you are a dear, loving her so purposefully. Happy Birthday to Joan! What a lucky woman she is to have you all.
Joan is brilliant. But so are you and this cake. Hummingbird is also one of my favorites and your recipe sounds down right amazing! Happy belated to a wonderful lady!!
It looks so good! What a nice birthday party for her – and you all. I’ve always wanted to make this cake – so thanks for the great recipe!
She looks wonderful, and you made her an awesome birthday celebration. Bless you!
I love the pics. Boy I hope when I am 90 folks are saying the same things about me—fit as a fiddle.
Secondly—-I just discovered this cake last year. I really wanted a tested and trusted recipe
for this particular cake. Thank you!!!!
Maureen, I loved this post, this glimpse into your life. Your MIL might be pretty out of it, but I’m sure she knows and appreciates, on some level, the lovely things you do for her. Cake looks scrummy. I was just thinking of making hummingbird cake, then I forgot to pick up bananas. Soon.
What a sweet post. I love the way you love your in-laws so well despite their difficulties. I certainly hope if I live to be that old that I have someone as sweet and kind as you to care for me 🙂
Don’t know why my post went into the electronic aether but I thought I’d comment again. Your MIL looks terrific for 90 (or for 80 for that matter). I know how hard it is to interact with someone suffering from dementia and I know you all are doing the best you can, especially during the ‘bad days’.
The cake looks delicious. I’m not a big fan of eating bananas but in bread or cake like this, they’re great.
Happy Birthday to your mother-in-law Maureen, what a beautiful cake you made her!
Happy birthday Joan! My grandmother suffered from dementia later in her life as well. She seemed to have a habit of sitting on eggs, so it would have been hard for me to bake this cake in front of her.
But this cake looks amazing! I have yet to try a hummingbird cake!
I’m trying not to laugh but I’m losing the battle. My grandmother used to dress up for Gomer Pyle on TV. My mother-in-law puts her shoes on the wrong feet and is amazed that anyone can tell which shoe goes where. She knows she likes cake though!
So sweet, happy birthday to Joan! What a special cake for her, I love the cream cheese frosting and coconut topping!
Hummingbird cake has been on my list to make since Lorraine said she loved it too. It sounds amazing.
Maureen, this post made me tear up and smile at the same time. What a lovely cake and she sure is such a lovely lady. You my dear are an awesome daughter in law. It must be so tough to see some one close to us go through this, but I see positivity around you and your family.
This cake looks ridiculously delicious, we know why Joan loves it.
xoxo
I like your point about validating and not questioning. What a sweet post Maureen. This cake looks so good, I think my father n law would love it! Pinning it for his bday treat 😉
What a lovely cake! It’s perfect for celebrating a birthday.
It is rather amazing how the body can work but the brain goes elsewhere…As you may recall my mom also has the big A. But, how thoughtful of you Maureen to celebrate with your mother-in-law’s current favorite Hummingbird Cake. No matter what kind of camera you use the verdict is gorgeous! And oh so elegant. Love the touch of cinnamon, too =)
Hummingbird Cake is one of my favorites! Such a sweet story, Maureen…thank you for sharing!
Gorgeous cake, I am yet to make a hummingbird. One of my dearest friend’s mother has dementia, and I watch is crush them emotionally as memories are lost, and family members become strangers.
Your MIL looks so good for 90, I am so sorry she is not well though. Your cake is gorgeous, I have never made one of these Hummingbird cakes. All my fav flavors!!
This cake looks perfect. You are wonderful!
I just recently made a Jamie Oliver version of Hummingbird Cake and it was loved by all. Makes such a nice change from the usual celebration cakes. Thank you for sharing a touching snippet of your family life.
I haven’t made a hummingbird cake in at least a decade—it’s fabulous and your recipe looks perfect. Your MIL is beautiful. SO hard to watch the decline of a loved one 🙁
Thats a really nice cake, Looks like I wanna have a slice of that now.
Belated Happy Birthday to your Mom in Law
Happy Belated Birthday Wishes to your Momma in Law. Absolutely adore your pink blazer, so sassy!
Hummingbird cake icing is my all time fave, as an apprentice chef, we’d make slabs of this cake, it was one taste I just couldn’t get sick of.
Aww this story put the biggest smile on my face! Just beautiful! I love hummingbird cake too!
This is one of my favourite cakes along with carrot cake. I make it gluten-free and the pineapple and banana keep it really moist.
Your mother looks glorious in her outfit. Who would ever know that she had dementia. How sad!
What a gorgeous and tasty cake, Maureen… and a great occasion to celebrate with it: the birthday of the woman who gave birth to the love of your life!
I am so sorry that many of her memories have been erased by dementia. I am sure that she was happy to see all of you there celebrating one more year of her life.
She was both beautiful and elegant!!!!!
Happy Birthday to your MIL! She looks so pretty in the color pink! Such a great cake to celebrate with too. I want to try your frosting. The cinnamon sounds like a great flavor to add!
What a lovely birthday cake to share with someone you love, it looks amazing 😀
A southern classic! I actually at one point posted a slow cooker version. Its not the prettiest cake when done, but delish none the less! <3 this story!
Love those pictures of Joan and Rob! It’s hard to believe she’s 90…she does look quite fit physically. I bet it thrilled Rob to get that kiss. You are such a sweet DIL to make her that cake! I saw my first hummingbird cake a few weeks ago and WOW, what cake! Yours is much prettier than the one I saw. 🙂
Hi, thought I would try your recipe but looking for when the pineapple gets added to the batter? Hope to try it soon
Yes, this is my favorite from my friend Dorothy.
Dorothy’s American Sausage
1/2 T. brown sugar
3/4 tsp. sage
1/2 tsp. each salt and black pepper
1/8 tsp.dried thyme
1/2 tsp.paprika
heavy pinch of nutmeg
1/8 tsp. each garlic powder and cayenne pepper
Mix all the spices together and mix into l pound of ground pork. Shape into patties.